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View Full Version : Off piste and a elephant!



FTM
05-06-2006, 02:46 AM
Good idea Martin so here it is a sideways reply to some threads and lots of crap.

Lets see if it takes off.

FTM
05-06-2006, 02:51 AM
Well you see the main problem here is MEN ,,,,,,,,,,,,,and we all know women dont like MEN esp, when they cannot change or get there own way with said MEN when they wont do as they are told.
So why not come into a mans domain and TRY and change it, natural thing for a woman to do dont see what all the fuss is about.
So lets face it fellas, it happens at home so why not in our little space on the net where we blow off steam and be silly and talk about our great motorcycles.
Plus you get some little men who are nearly close to being a woman that agree with girlys rants but hey it takes all sorts in this big world, and there even men out there that dress as woman now i believe PHEW.

Have a nice day all





:rolleyes:


I know what you mean Big Simp, I think the wee fella is turning.

http://f5.putfile.com/5/12503272716.jpg

The Dr.Jon
05-06-2006, 02:56 AM
Six days to go!:eek:
http://www.skippypodar.net/Podar/PodarMultiplicity/multiplicity8-see-hear-speak-400-text.jpg

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 03:08 AM
DJ,yer looking a bit " browned off" there m8!!!:rolleyes: :happy:

windy
05-06-2006, 03:20 AM
arse, willy, bollox, arse, willy, bollox, arse, willy, bollox. arse, willy, bollox, arse, willy, bollox, arse, willy, bollox., ya-hoo this is great!!!!!
:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :crowbar: :nutts: :bitchslap

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 03:23 AM
Good morning Martin nice to hear from you, how are you this fine morning?, is your Tuono ok?:happy:

windy
05-06-2006, 03:33 AM
Hi

I was all set for a ride out then the wife springs a great one on me. I'm stuck in hull all week without the bike and 7:30 this morning she tells me she has to work today until 8:00pm:WTF:

Martin.

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 03:35 AM
I know what you mean Big Simp, I think the wee fella is turning.

http://f5.putfile.com/5/12503272716.jpg

MACK, good morning to your good self & how are you this fine morn?, iam very pleased with your picture of HAIRY & extra pleased at the fact that you didn't include any silly little drawings of his private parts.:)

windy
05-06-2006, 03:46 AM
Going for a walk with the kids to the local bike shop, get some cleaning stuff and get the bike ready for the G.N.M.

A couple of mates have asked if they can join us at Helmsley, Simon (gxsr750) and John (vfr) Any objections? other than the japcrap they'll be riding he he.

Martin.

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 03:53 AM
OK by me Martin,only you must explain to them that the coffee is down to the gate crashers & also i may be talking a hell of a lot about rude stuff, ..... well thats if i can remember how to be rude after a full week off!!!!!!:happy:

The Dr.Jon
05-06-2006, 04:42 AM
It's not all bad being a Trappist monk. I'm enjoying some good beer.
http://210.48.74.2/cockandbull/db/imagelibrary/Beer-MonksHabit.jpg
And the accommodation is airy and spacious.
http://www.cumberlandlibrary.org/images/cloister.jpg

FTM
05-06-2006, 04:44 AM
Good morning you PC pansies.

What's the difference between a bird from newcastle and a washing machine?

When you dump your load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for 2 weeks!

:cheers:

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 04:44 AM
It could turn out to be a "GOOD HABIT" eh ?:happy:

FTM
05-06-2006, 04:48 AM
It's not all bad being a Trappist monk. I'm enjoying some good beer.
http://210.48.74.2/cockandbull/db/imagelibrary/Beer-MonksHabit.jpg
And the accommodation is airy and spacious.
http://www.cumberlandlibrary.org/images/cloister.jpg


He said Trappist monk, that's yorkshire rhyming slang for spunk if i'm not mistaken. :bump:

:cheers:

The Dr.Jon
05-06-2006, 04:49 AM
Here's one of my new friends sporting an EDZ helmet liner and reading Keith Code's "Twist of the Wrist" (nothing funny about that:rolleyes: ).
http://www.trappist.net/newweb/images/05_lectio_monk.jpg
Trouble is no one wants to start up a conversation?:confused:

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 04:56 AM
DJ, dont you let that common FTM goad you into anything rude m8, if you cant handle the pressure try,......43763they will help!:happy:

The Dr.Jon
05-06-2006, 05:08 AM
I have to say that I have found the yoga classes here to be very relaxing and I was doing well right up to the Moon Cat Dog Scratch position. I was practicing in my cell when I got stuck. I've been like this for 3 hours, but I can't shout for help!:eek:

It's a miracle that I can still type!:worship:
http://www.limbermen.com/CHP/Johnathan%20Monks.jpg

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 05:20 AM
Yer couldnt make the picture a wee bit bigger could yer?:happy:

PS, that bloke is in an awful position & i would have had to comment if i wasn't obliged to be silent on that kind of stuff!!!!!:happy:

FTM
05-06-2006, 05:32 AM
Yer couldnt make the picture a wee bit bigger could yer?:happy:

PS, that bloke is in an awful position & i would have had to comment if i wasn't obliged to be silent on that kind of stuff!!!!!:happy:

And you shouldn't speak with your mouth full.

http://f5.putfile.com/5/12506270935.jpg

hairy
05-06-2006, 01:27 PM
ftm calling around at araiheds house

hairy
05-06-2006, 01:29 PM
heres araihead trying his yoga

hairy
05-06-2006, 01:31 PM
is this wat u meant by off piste and elephants ftm

hairy
05-06-2006, 01:32 PM
heres one of the doc waiting for a bus:funnypost

hairy
05-06-2006, 01:34 PM
and finally what araihead has for breakfast each morning:funnypost

Tuono-Deb
05-06-2006, 02:05 PM
Paddy comes home to find his wife laid on the bed in a pair of crotchless Knickers, " Do you want to lick this " she asks him. Paddy replies " do i fuck, look what its done to your knickers "

hairy
05-06-2006, 02:11 PM
Paddy comes home to find his wife laid on the bed in a pair of crotchless Knickers, " Do you want to lick this " she asks him. Paddy replies " do i fuck, look what its done to your knickers "
:plus: :plus: :plus: good one debs

hairy
05-06-2006, 02:15 PM
rev john flapps sees a lady church member getting drunk in the pub,he tries to take her home,but they fall and he ends up on top of her,the landlord says oi mate u cant do that in here,the rev replies u dont understand ,im pastor flapps,landlord says ,well if ur in that far u may aswell finish

Tuono-Deb
05-06-2006, 02:16 PM
q. Why do men become brighter during during sex

a. Because they are plugged into a genius


q. Why don,t women blink during sex

a. Because they don,t have time

q. Why did God give men larger brains than dogs

a. So they don,t hump womens legs at cocktail parties

q. Why did god create man first

a. He needed a rough copy to work off.

2 oh no
05-06-2006, 02:34 PM
Am I missing something here? What has all this to do with Touno's?

Surely the 'rowdy biker bar' is a far more suitable place for this?

'The forum to discuss anything not related to motorcycle or motorcycling. Tell jokes, BS, and debate. Please be respectful of other views and beliefs'.

I'm not trying to be miserable here, but why does every thread get hijacked by a minority few, for unfunny so called banter?

No doubt I will now be accused of being a bore.

Tuono-Deb
05-06-2006, 02:38 PM
PMSL

how many names you got Angryhead :) :) That post is so obvious !! especially waiting 2 pages for me to post .

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 02:41 PM
How many names?, could you please clarify your question.:)

Tuono-Deb
05-06-2006, 02:49 PM
It just seems more than a coincedence to repeat word for word what i complained about ( after the Newcastle connection) after i post jokes on the OFF PISTE (meaning away from main threads, non Tuono) .

If i,m wrong i apologise :kidding:

ARAIHEAD
05-06-2006, 02:53 PM
Deb, the Newcastle person isn't me, i'm sorry to dissapoint you !:)

FTM
05-07-2006, 02:27 AM
Am I missing something here? What has all this to do with Touno's?

Surely the 'rowdy biker bar' is a far more suitable place for this?

'The forum to discuss anything not related to motorcycle or motorcycling. Tell jokes, BS, and debate. Please be respectful of other views and beliefs'.

I'm not trying to be miserable here, but why does every thread get hijacked by a minority few, for unfunny so called banter?

No doubt I will now be accused of being a bore.

What have Touno's got to do with Tuono's?

ARAIHEAD
05-07-2006, 11:18 AM
Am I missing something here? What has all this to do with Touno's?

Surely the 'rowdy biker bar' is a far more suitable place for this?

'The forum to discuss anything not related to motorcycle or motorcycling. Tell jokes, BS, and debate. Please be respectful of other views and beliefs'.

I'm not trying to be miserable here, but why does every thread get hijacked by a minority few, for unfunny so called banter?

No doubt I will now be accused of being a bore.

Welcome to the darkside!:devil:

I personally wouldn't acuse you of being a "bore", but i may acuse you of being a " i've had 3 posts now so i will judge everyone else cos the input i've given is far superior " type of a person!!!!!!????????????:confused:

Batfastard
05-07-2006, 04:23 PM
Would the real 2OHNO please stand up, whoever you really are?

ARAIHEAD
05-08-2006, 03:47 AM
Would the real 2OHNO please stand up, whoever you really are?

I'll second that, cos it aint meself!!!!!!!!!!1:)

Tuono-Deb
05-08-2006, 03:58 AM
I would also like to know where " Magsk1 " alter ego has gone, one totally transparent post as was 2OHNO ,quoting something i,ve supposed to have said 6 months ago, (but cant find on this site) so how did a so called newby know about it .

Maybe Lord Lucan is a member also

FTM
05-08-2006, 03:58 AM
I've been asked by the northern meaters to post this here.


BF; Thats great. Liz is more than welcome to tag along, don't worry about the pace I have a couple of mates joining us at Helmsley, niether are fast but they are experienced and know the route we are following. I'm sure there'll be an occational bit of scratching but as Araihead said it more about putting faces to names.

Do you know the "Timber Dock" pub on the Victoria Dock estate? Turn right off the round-a-bout after the bridge that goes over the River Hull (the one with the tidal barrier) and its on the left.

Cheers, Martin.


It appears the "Timber Dock" is a gay club and the northern shirt lifters are looking for more people to attend.

Personaly I will be drinking in the "Rusty Hinge" then have a couple in the "Brace and Bits" then home with a large kabab.

:cheers:

The Dr.Jon
05-08-2006, 03:59 AM
Newbs: I think they are both very close mates of that other infamous character from the North East....Clogdancer!:rolleyes:

CLOGDANCER
05-08-2006, 04:03 AM
The dr jon please dont bring me into your mind again, i am only a watcher now.:)
And i am myself only.

FTM
05-08-2006, 04:04 AM
Newbs: I think they are both very close mates of that other infamous character from the North East....Clogdancer!:rolleyes:

Clogdancer is a southerner with a silver tuono which later turned black or was it grey?

:confused:

The Dr.Jon
05-08-2006, 04:05 AM
Tossers: Heads it's FTM, tails it's Araihead!:burnout:

CLOGDANCER
05-08-2006, 04:10 AM
:lover: Sorry but i am only myself.:)
bye bye again, for now.

FTM
05-08-2006, 04:12 AM
The dr jon please dont bring me into your mind again, i am only a watcher now.:)
And i am myself only.


Dogging is it.

What's the weather like outside?

Give us a up to date report and we will see if your right.

Big Simp
05-08-2006, 05:01 PM
Someone pls explain wot doggin is to Hairy you know hes a bit slow on the uptake, and dont want him hanging round Battersea dogs home all weekend.
steve

Ps Deb ur getting kooler by the post girl

FTM
05-09-2006, 02:47 AM
Someone pls explain wot doggin is to Hairy you know hes a bit slow on the uptake, and dont want him hanging round Battersea dogs home all weekend.
steve

Ps Deb ur getting kooler by the post girl

He still thinks Wanking is the capital of China and Chlamydia is married to Prince Charles.

:D

ARAIHEAD
05-09-2006, 05:41 AM
And are they not????????:confused:

FTM
05-10-2006, 10:11 AM
I went out today to buy a grease gun from a shop about 1 mile from my home but the sun must have some kind of effect on the stearing as I ended up doing 100 miles.

Has anyone else noticed this handling problem before?

http://f5.putfile.com/5/12910353497.jpg

That reminds me, it's the GNM this weekend isn't it.:)

I don't know if that sign is a warning or an order!

:cheers:

ARAIHEAD
05-10-2006, 10:44 AM
MACK, that sign is there warning OTHER people that you frequent the place!!!!!!!!!!:funnypost

FTM
05-10-2006, 11:12 AM
MACK, that sign is there warning OTHER people that you frequent the place!!!!!!!!!!:funnypost


That could be right as there was 2 signs when I arrived and only one when I left.:)

ARAIHEAD
05-10-2006, 12:29 PM
MACK, did you nick that foreign blokes push-bike , its been in the news today about that bloke travelling around the world, got off the ferry at PORTSMOUTH & went for a coffee , returned 10 minutes later to find someone had knicked his bike !!!!!:funnypost

FTM
05-10-2006, 01:03 PM
His bike was a slow black one so the police are looking for a little old lady.

:bump:

FTM
05-15-2006, 03:15 AM
:WTF:

http://f5.putfile.com/5/13404105463.jpg

Lost in translation?

ARAIHEAD
05-15-2006, 03:18 AM
MACK, have you had onions for yer brekkie? yer keep repeating!!!!!!!!:happy:

FTM
05-15-2006, 03:21 AM
You what, you what, you what you what you what?

ARAIHEAD
05-15-2006, 03:29 AM
Sly little Mackem!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

FTM
05-15-2006, 03:36 AM
Who me?

http://f5.putfile.com/5/13404301939.jpg

Don't know what you mean.

hairy
05-15-2006, 07:37 AM
is that why u play strip poker with ur pet sheep ftm,and u still get beat everytime:funnypost

FTM
06-21-2006, 01:51 PM
I've been looking back through old posts about some peoples views on mirrors. On reflection it appears the yanks are being shown in a bad light, articles in "Der Spiegel" and "The Daily Mirror" appear to polarize this view and in hind sight I think we should put all this behind us and start looking forward towards a better future.

:soap: :cool:

ARAIHEAD
06-22-2006, 07:39 AM
:WTF: are yer babbling on aboot the noo?

I've always wondered aboot the saying "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"............................WHY?????????:confused:

SURELY THE AREN'T GANNA THROW THEM TOWARDS THEIR HOUSE!!!!

The Dr.Jon
06-22-2006, 07:49 AM
Here's the answer.http://www.douvilleconsulting.com/assests/images/catalogue/bathmirror.jpg Two of these beauties screwed on to the top fairing cowl. They can be extended for town riding and retracted for squeezing through gaps, chasing the top speed and of course track days!
:burnout:

The Dr.Jon
06-22-2006, 07:52 AM
Addionally, they can be flipped over with a magnified mirror on the reverse. This will be useful as the slow black bikes dwindle away into the rear distance and useful for people with small heads who want to appear normal....to themselves!:rolleyes:
http://www.douvilleconsulting.com/assests/images/catalogue/bathmirror.jpg

The fact that they can be moved around would be useful for signalling to small aircraft when stuck in deserts.