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Thread: Hey friends, meet Mr. Douchenozzle, the moto-hating assbag that nearly killed me toda

  1. #1
    apriliaforum expert disco dave's Avatar
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    Hey friends, meet Mr. Douchenozzle, the moto-hating assbag that nearly killed me toda



    So this drunk, shit-stained, meth-addled, white trash redneck damn near ran me over while i was riding my Caponord home from work today. Oh, and also threw a beer can at me. From the drivers seat of his truck whilst chasing me through my own neighborhood. And, surprise, i also learned he lives like less than a block down the road from me. The details...

    On my way home from work on a Friday. Only day i get to ride these days. 95% home, pulling into my neighborhood behind a beat up GMC Sierra (TX BS5 9111....oh did i type that out loud?). Come up to a T stop. Hes got right turn signal on and starts to turn right. I pull up to go left. Something about that simple traffic maneuver flips the trailer park switch in 'ol hillbilly slim shady. I make my turn, next thing i know my rearview mirrors are full of this guys truck. He doubled back and started chasing me. Im thinking, im maybe 1/16 of a mile from my house if that, just get home, pull in the garage, and hope he passes. Nope. Joe Dirt pulls up beside me in the opposite lane just before the turn onto my street and blocks my path home, damn near slamming into my bike and running me over in the process. Oh did i mention there's a passenger? An obviously underdeveloped neanderthal fuckwit passenger. They're both yelling some drunken bullshit at me, Bud Light cans in hand. I try to ease forward to turn left in front of their truck, but they keep pulling up and blocking it off.

    Fuck, what to do? I just moved here, honestly dont really even know my way around my neighborhood yet. So i take off, trying to figure out what to do. The truck is, no shit, shaving rubber off my rear tire, trying to pull up beside me the whole damn time. I slow down, he pulls up beside me and tries to steer into me, i speed up and he gasses it, riding my rear tire. And were in a neighborhood. A small one. Cant speed away. Stop signs and pedestrians everywhere. I get to a stop sign. This cumstain throws a full beer can at me. A beer can. What the fuck?

    So im trying to figure out what to do, and not doing a good job of on-the-fly decision making. I decide to head for home. Rednecks in trail. They follow me to my doorstep. I pull up in the driveway and grab my phone out of the top box to start recording. This asshole stops in the middle of the street in front of my house, jumps out of his truck, and starts spewing verbal anti-education. Drivel basically. Thats the best i can describe it. My son comes running out. I yell to him, go get my shotgun. No idea what these ex-con-looking aholes have in mind. Im kinda proud of myself for the fact that i was able to keep calm enough to get my phone and start recording details. He gets out of his truck right in the middle of the road in front of my house and lights into this glorious academic oratory about "punk ass," and "piece o shit," and "muh fuckur," wowing the crowds as im sure you can imagine. I just keep recording and asking for his name. I just keep asking him, "whats your name?" "Come on, you were man enough to chase me to my house, tell me your name?"


    As you can imagine, nothing forthcoming except a few more beer-laced profanities and some chest puffing. No answers on the name thing, although the monkey in the passenger seat did say "heres my name," patting a sticker on the rear window of the truck that said "Gresham Racing" with the number 4 in the middle. No idea what that means, but i think these guys thought they were some kind of racers of some sort. Whatever.

    They take off. I collect my son and we go inside. Check my video. Unfortunately it didnt record. Guess i was just too stressed at the moment to make the right iphone moves. My son chimes in, says dad, the guy pulled in and parked just down the street. I looked and sure enough he did. So we got in the car and dove by. And holy shit, Beavis and Butthead were both standing out on the curb, spouting profanities as we drove by. So we got pics of them, pics of the license plate, and pics of the house. I go back home and make a non emergency call to the county sheriff, who dispatches a patrol out to the house. I tell him the story and he asks me if i want to press charges. I absolutely did, but realizing this asshole lives within sight of my doorstep, we come up with a plan that he will go and talk to the other guy, explain that im willing to not press charges to keep peace in the neighborhood but that he's a fucking moron and you can run into motorcycles because you think youre the traffic police. Quite frankly the guy looked like he probably has warrants anyway, so why not let the Sheriffs office sort that out.

    Sheriff goes to the guys house and, surprise, hes left. His wife says he's gone. Warrants is my guess...

    All that being said, im not sure i handled it appropriately on a number of fronts. The initial contact was 100% on him and totally not warranted. Hes a horrible excuse of a human being. My reaction into running into this guy, though, needs some work.

    No GoPro? Thats a problem.
    Speeding off to try and outrun him in a neighborhood? Not going to work.
    Slowing down? No good there, he would just pull alongside. No regard for traffic law from this guy.
    Stopping? These guys were drunk and looking for a fight.
    Ride to a police station? Good idea except i dont know where they are, new to the area.
    Had phone and bluetooth set up on gps, Probably should have used them to call someone. But didnt.

    So, guess im looking for suggestions on this one. Also really want to name and shame this guy, but 1) dont know if thats appropriate, 2) dont know his name so hard to shame, and 3) am i better than that?

    So i guess maybe to all the Houston folks, be on the lookout for this guy and his POS truck, hes proven that hes willing to run over motorcyclists, and thats never good.

    Btw fuck this guy. Damn near killed me today.

    And also a little bit of fuck this place i now live in. I used to live in a town that was friendly, diverse, progressive, and accommodating, mainly owing to the large military community. Never could imagine having this problem in my old neighborhood in San Antonio.

    But i guess i now live amongst intolerant privileged white trash garbage. Maybe. Theres always some folks that are good. Maybe i just havent met them yet.

    But seriously fuck this place.


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    1999 Ducati 748

  2. #2
    apriliaforum expert THUNDR's Avatar
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    Looks like the clown forgot to take off the shoes from the bowling alley.
    2003 Tuono (In the garage still!)
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  3. #3
    apriliaforum expert Hellgate's Avatar
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    Damn Dave. I think you handled it very well. Pressing charge was the right move too. What part of town are you in?

    I have a no Friday riding rule. I've been hit on the pedal bike 3 times over the years on Fridays. 2 of which were drunk.

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    Pete

  4. #4
    apriliaforum expert laker213's Avatar
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    Did you handle it well? I'd say you did. No one is hurt and your son learned a lesson about standing your ground with a cool head.

    A couple of days ago some kid shot and killed a man in Austin due to a fender bender and some road rage. Glad it didn't get to that point.
    Last edited by laker213; 09-16-2017 at 10:37 AM.


    - Tim

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    apriliaforum expert J.R. Bob Dobbs's Avatar
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    Welcome to Houston!......is what he really wanted to say. looks like he belongs in prison (and probably has been)
    Jap bikes suck.

  6. #6
    apriliaforum expert
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    So what part of Houston did you move into?


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    apriliaforum expert photoRotor's Avatar
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    Agreed - sounds like you handled it pretty well (better than I would have FWIW). Unfortunately, the world is full of his ilk. Keep being a decent citizen, and hope that this kind of shit is few and far between. If not, head NW..... some great roads here, and a good bit dryer
    JD

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  8. #8
    apriliaforum expert laker213's Avatar
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    - Tim

    2015 Piaggio Fly 150 - "It's small and white?"
    2016 Aprilia Tuono 1100 Factory - holy crap
    2015 Aprilia Caponord Travel Pack - very red
    2003 Moto Guzzi California Titanium - DungeonMaster's old steed

  9. #9
    apriliaforum expert disco dave's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback guys. Is it weird that, no kidding, right in the middle of the whole ordeal, while the guy is still chasing me through the neighborhood, I had passing thoughts of how I was going to write this up on the forum?

    So I authored this thread last night after a couple drinks, trying to work the adrenaline down enough to sleep. Its amazing how the human body reacts to threats like that. Reading it again, I see I was being pretty foul. So I apologize for the aggressive tone. That being said, I should clarify the part about where I now live, because I dont necessarily think its fair to cast an entire area as being bad.

    We live in Spring, TX. North part of Houston. Actually its somehow also called Klein, TX. Which is weird, both city names appear when you search the zip code, and I guess both city names are equally correct. We moved here six months ago due to a relocation offer from my employer. We been in San Antonio for 14 years, so this is our first big move in a while and we knew next to nothing about the area.

    Tried to find housing near enough to my employer, which is on the north side of town. Found this place. Older, established neighborhood, most of the folks are older it seems, and generally pretty decent. But there's a couple weird things ive noticed: 1) theres this odd sort of "youre not from around here, are ya boy?" attitude I've encountered on a couple occasions, and there's a small percentage of, not sure how else to say it, white trash. You know, the kind of folks you'd see on an episode of Cops or Jerry Springer. People like the specimen pictured above. Reminds me a lot of the small town in Oklahoma where I grew up. Very white, very "good ol boy."

    That being said, there seem to be a lot of good folks around here as well. And lots of well-to-do folks as well apparently, judging by the number of exotic cars ive seen around here. Not sure where theyre coming from, I certainly dont make Ferrari money, but apparently some folks around here do.

    But I've had I suppose a hard time adjusting to the heat, humidity, hurricanes, traffic, atmosphere, etc., so I've taken that out on the whole area, and thats not fair.

    I like the no riding on Friday rule, Pete. That's really good advice. Unfortunately for me, so far its been the only day of the week I can ride. Think its time to adjust the schedule a bit. To be quite honest, Im wondering if it might be a good idea to go track day only, or maybe just only ride on the weekends?

    Or maybe just head up to JD's part of the country. I could really go for that right now.
    2015 Aprilia Caponord 1200
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  10. #10
    apriliaforum expert Hellgate's Avatar
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    Dave my wife grew up in Spring and the Conroe area. Not a place I enjoy visiting for exactly what you've described. In High School she was a theatre, language dork and didn't ever fit in with the redneck crowd that were the majority of the student body at the time.

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    Pete

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    apriliaforum expert photoRotor's Avatar
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    Get up here.
    JD

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  12. #12
    apriliaforum expert disco dave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hellgate View Post
    Dave my wife grew up in Spring and the Conroe area. Not a place I enjoy visiting for exactly what you've described. In High School she was a theatre, language dork and didn't ever fit in with the redneck crowd that were the majority of the student body at the time.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk
    Man, Pete, I wish I'd known more about this area before we moved in. It was 9 weeks from the time I accepted the transfer offer to moving into the new house. Not much time to search. Not much I can do now, I suppose.
    2015 Aprilia Caponord 1200
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  13. #13
    apriliaforum expert Ricardo J's Avatar
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    Human detritus like this guy are all too common. Maybe he got lost on his way to a wifebeater supremacist rally, got pissed off, and is taking it out on you? If Texas allows concealed carry, you might want to! Split second decisions of life or possible death are hard to make. Knowing where you live now, I hope he will not return...and if he does, may it be to get a shower, of lead shot.

    Several years ago, I was riding with a buddy in rural California. A 2003 Tuono Racing and a Falco out having a good time! We parked to swap bikes at a stop sign, middle of nowhere, in nobody's way. A beater van pulls up, the driver is yelling at us that we should get the fuck off the road. Exactly his words and attitude. Well, yeah, we are parked in tandem on the last foot of asphalt in an otherwise wide road. I told him we are not in your way at all, and we are not parking on a soft dirt shoulder...period. He starts cussing, and I make the mistake of saying HEY FUCK YOU!!! Crackhead Bob started screaming like a wounded animal, jumps out and comes around the backside of the van spinning a padlock on a cable! "I'm gonna kill you!!!" I mean, really? Dude, I'm wearing an Arai helmet, full leathers, gloves, etc. If you approach I'll put my arm up, your "weapon" will wrap around it, then I'll pull your face into my other fist. I'll break your scrawny face asshole! Jackwagon jumps back in his shit van and speeds off...guess what? The lic plate was covered in filth and unreadable. We call it in to the Sheriff, but they won't be able to do a lot without an ID.

  14. #14
    apriliaforum expert haga lout's Avatar
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    Been reading this thread today and it unnerves me we've been planing to do a big American ride ( 3to 4 months) taking in a bit of bike raceing and just wondering about starting on the south west ( like to see Alcatraz) and meet a few of you and the af1 shop I'd like to buy 2 bikes for the trip and ship them home or sell them off but is it safe with all the red neck nutters I've riden bikes all over Europe and North Africa in the past without a problem sorry to pinch into this thread

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    apriliaforum expert DaveNZ's Avatar
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    !!!MERICA!!!...................................... .........................Sorry Dave, that must have been frightening.
    It used to be "Rock around the clock" now its "limp around the block".................................In the shed...... Multistrada 1200, Termi full system with matching ECU, and ohlins SCU. KTM 640 supermotard, with full titanium system and a shit load of spares. (track bike) and a Bran spanking new 1290 GT. Torque monster.

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